If you know me in real life, here are a list of lies that I probably will or have told you....um...sorry about that.
Lie: I have a job
Truth: I've had interviews, a couple emails, and a potential Craigslist identity theft scare. I have no job.
Truth 2: I'll probably still tell you I have a job... even if I'm sure you have read this.
Lie: I just booked a flight to Utah
Truth: I booked a flight to Utah Jan. 19th. Got antsy, booked one for Jan 13th. Got nervous, moved it back to Jan 19th, Got nervous when the "doctor"* told me I had a herniated disc, canceled the flight. Booked a flight February 11th, after my surgery. Got antsy, canceled surgery, booked a flight for Jan. 29th.
Lie: I need surgery on my back
Truth: The surgery was just to get rid of my pain...which is partially legitimate but void because the decision on surgery was also based on another attempt to postpone my real life experience. Also known as unemployment, also known as bills.
Lie: Turns out I don't need surgery on my back
Truth: This lie was more like restitution for the previous lie. Again, the no surgery was really based on my restless desire to live with fun, symmetrical friends again.
Lie: Of course I don't care what my friends think of my life!
Lie 2: I've really got things figured out.
Truth: Read this post again.
Again... my apologies. If you're really angry you can email me at my new work address. I'll get it to you as soon as the tech guy, Sean, gets back from his vacation in Palm Springs... it could be a while. Sean loves Palm Springs! Ugh, tech guys.
*I don't think there's anything quite as condescending as quotation marks. Old Man Winter used them all the time. Bless that man's soul.
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4 comments:
I think I am the reason for this blog posting and I made you self aware of your recent failures: as always you're welcome
`b
you are employed...being hot and rad is a full time job...and so is dealing with me as of late...
fact: ur really pretty so boys dont listen anyways so really the only people it affects are your close friends and we all know you crazy(p.s i really hope i used the right affect/effect)
my god, maggie, you get funnier all the time...
Man, Shauna is right. 22 points to Shauna. Dudes never listen to women. We're like dogs, we just look for body language. And smells. Body language and body smells. And treats. If you want a dude to act like he's listening to you, hold a warm cookie right out of his reach. He'll nod, and be agreeable, and not look at the TV, and do all kinds of things. In fact, if my roommate had a warm cookie right now and said if I rolled over he'd give it to me, I'd do it. Right now. Unless I thought he was tricking me, then I'd wake up at 3, start shaking the bunk, yell, "Meteor!!" and throw raw cookie dough at his face.
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