Monday, November 17, 2008

Maybe she's born with it... Maybe it's teen pregnancy

So I have a theory.

These beauties, Shania Twain, Faith Hill, and my friend Shauna are all adopted. Not only are they adopted, but they were all teen pregnancies. Now why are they so superiorly attractive? Let's look at the facts.

Fact: The only thing that matters in high school is looks and status
Fact: Personalities aren't exactly developed until at least college and so looks are really the only thing anyone is going after.
Fact: The only people having sex in high school are the good-looking ones seeking anyone who may make them appear better looking or more popular for being associated with said boyfriend/girlfriend.
*inconsequent* Fact: Most of these teen babies have great voices for singing country which is really just another commentary on home-grown country chitlin' without accessible contraceptives.

THEREFORE: The teen babies are the superior, better-looking breed. Hitler had it all WRONG... when he was trying to develop the superior race, he didn't need to bother with all that complicated genocide. He just needed to promote high school sex, right?

Caveat: Any hasty generalization I have made in this post is allowed because I have a gorgeous teen-baby nephew... and I have a black cousin.


Jane said...

Thank you!!!! Thank you!!!! Shauna could have been a country star??? Wait, it's not to late. Kick Taylor Swift to the curb, enter Shauna Morse.
I wish I was a teen pregnancy. Or as Sarah said "I'm a 37 year old woman's accident"

karster said...

holla! you're pushin the black cousin. he is chinese and adopted anyway.

Bethany'sBazodi said...

i love that this post was followed your commitment to make your blog more classy!

em said...

what about Juno. She was 'cute' but not hot. He was... errrr. i know lots of ugly kids that had sex in HS. Maybe they were the nerdy smart ones who actually wore condoms.

shauna.m. said...

maggie i love this..i will launch my career asap....and whay is em trying to rain on my parade? only teasing....

neil said...

I'm glad our blogs can hang out now. Turns out both of our blogs like attractive adopted women. They should get along great.