Thursday, March 26, 2009

;)

I think winkers are sexy, confident, and collected. And being winked at is just about as good as getting proposed to... and almost as intimate. (I've never experienced this first had but I frequent Temple Square in Salt Lake City on my lunch break and thus have become very familiar with the process.) Oh... you're winking at me? You chose me out of this room full of humans to make such a personal connection with and to share a secret and a joke? I DO.

So as an ultimate goal to up my sex appeal I've been trying to transform myself into a winker lately. The cool thing I've learned about being a winker is that they are no respecter of persons. You can practice anywhere on anything... which can't be said about most intimate interactions. So I took this gig to work.

Except it was here that I learned trying to transform into a winker overnight is like trying to transform yourself into a habitual swearer overnight. You just end up mixing your words around and looking like an idiot. Son of a damn! Or you do this:

My married, sweet co-worker mentioned that he was overly warm in our office, and asked if I shared his discomfort. I didn't and told him... but then I felt bad for making him feel like the overweight "always warmer than the average worker" guy, so I tried to compensate by telling him that maybe it was because he was wearing pants, and I was wearing a skirt.

"Ya know, good ventilation."

I guess some part of me thought this was a good time to practice my wink (which by the way was still really slow and mechanical), when really what I should have been considering were the implications of my up-my-skirt reference alone was grounds for at least some form of sexual harassment fines. The wink could do nothing but lead to either some kind of soft lay-off or a restraining order.

So it may actually be the winking that is a result of the sexy, calm, and collectedness, instead of the other way around. But maybe now I can start winning friends and influencing people with my new habitual swearing I'm thinking about picking up.

9 comments:

Crandallions said...

yeah maggie i found your blog! i can't stop reading your stories, you always tell them so amazingly! hope you're enjoying salt lake! take care cute girl ;)

Sparkle said...

A fun variation to the winking game is... with your friends walking down the street pick your target and all wink at the same time... they won't know what to do with themselves!!!

Holli said...

I have a British uncle who is a winker. The British accent + a well-executed wink = captivating charm.

Livi said...

Maggie - I am TOTALLY about the winkers. UNfort. I am Terrrrible at it. When a boy is real good at it it gives me the butterflies in my stomach.

filipendula, q.o.t.p. said...

thanks for the (much needed)laughter.

shauna.m. said...

practice at sacrament...thats what i do...comfuses the hell out of bishops

Shake'N'Blake said...

winking is FAR too forward. I for one prefer the subtle smile with a quick eyebrow raise. Much more humor in it and honestly guys winking is creepy and cocky

neil said...

The wink is good, but a bit over played, which is of course why I don't do it. Have you considered the nose wiggle? It's a bit more exclusive due to the virtually pointless muscle control it necessitates, but nevertheless creates a romantic air that women lose all control in. May repulse men for all I know, but worth a shot.

The Margin Wight said...

Did you notice the choir director during conference? At the end of one of the hymns, he smiled and winked at the ladies. I thought of your post and was mildly scandalized.

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