Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I Guess I'm Just That Smart

The other day my mom was talking to my five-year-old nephew about his new hermit crab, Colin.  He said some obscure fact about hermit crabs and my mom asked him where he learned so much about Colin the Crab.  He said, "I just knowed it."

No, I'm sure his dad told him, (credit stealer) but then I realized that adults do the same thing, but instead of the grammatically incorrect "I just knowed it,"  it graduates to, "I read it somewhere"  

Once you give a name to the source of all your brilliance, it's not as romantic, smart, or impressive.  If I for some reason know there are 192 nations in the United Nations and someone asks me how I know that... I'm not going to tell them it was on my cereal box that morning.  Even if I learned it in a class.  Then my genius suddenly becomes my teacher's or school's glory, and I'm just the messenger. Forget that.  I want it.  I miraculously just know that bit of information, ok?  I'm sure it was implanted in my brain after my mind was constructed by NASA.  

So no titles, no teachers,  no episodes of Grey's Anatomy.  This is how I want it:  all my friends and family thinking everything I know to have just spontaneously appeared in my brain because I read so much that I don't even remember where it was that I read it, I just know that I knowed it somehow.  


Jane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jane said...

And the only times to actually come out with the source of knowledge is when it's "cooool."i.e. New York Times, NPR, Wallstreet Journal.Great most shag-me-maggie!

Dave said...

I knew there were 192 countries because I used to work for the U.N. I guess I'm just that smart. Kidding. Don't get me started, don't EVEN get me started.