A Pervert, Rabbi, and Possible Con Artist Walk Into a Bar

Ok, well not really a bar, but more like my email inbox.

One thing I have learned from trying to find lodging in London is this:

1. It's not exactly Rexburg
2. People will actually take advantage of me?!
3. Rabbis suck!

When I had to find an apartment for the first time in my life, it was in Rexburg, Idaho. I spoke with a woman named Faith with a voice like candy. (Except it's the kind of candy that comes in a sugary pouch and can only be eaten by another stick of candy... I think it's called Fun Dip: far too sweet and makes you sick after about 4 1/2 second, but candy nonetheless.)

The next time I had to find an apartment for myself is right now.

First, I got an email from a man named Alex. He was so nice. He said that I could live in his apartment for free! All I had to do was "be like a girlfriend to him." I love living with girlfriends! I mean, me and like nine of my girlfriends are all going to get a house together next summer, and it's going to be the best summer of my life! Alex: bachelor number one.

Then! I got an email from a Rabbi, he was great and lived in a lovely house with his wife and their friend Sally. I would have my own room and would share a bathroom with Sally. The Rabbi and I talked on the phone and made plans and everything. It was like I was a foster child finally being adopted by rich jews! Then he emailed me and said a cuter, younger (actually older and more stable) business man took my spot. And I had already felt I made such a connection with Sally. Rabbi: bachelor number 2

Bachelor number three comes in the form of a Con artist. There are a lot of details I won't go into, but it ends with "my phone is in the repair shop so no we can't talk to each other, but western union your money to me now." Classic Susan, always conning someone!

Anyway, I'm sure Alex and I will be very happy together. Fingers crossed I don't get sold into prostitution!!!!